PUT YOUR HAND INTO A BOX! with Halifax Collect and friends (Nov 8, 2013)

The last one was good wasn't it (read)? This isn't rocket science people... Back in the day I bought way too much crap on my travels. My vinyl collection grew and I kept bringing home bundles of seven inches. Some were sent by mail, but for the last - say - 5 years I've been uprooted and headless here and there, resulting in my album collection being stashed away somehow. But I recently unearthed a bunch of stuff that now resides in a nifty boxes. I'm curious as to how this all sounds, so I got Bob of Reykjavík Sex Farm! to help me. We sit around and spin inches.

BRUTAL KNIGHTS - My Life, My Fault (2008, Canada)
QUIRITATIO - Yana (2006, Norway)
SKITKIDZ - Välkomna Till Paradiset... (2005, Sweden)

Bob: Before we even start playing the songs, Birkir takes it upon himself to shout out the lyrics to me. This is some grade A teen snark I'm hearing right here, like it's some kind of Andy Kaufmann skit of him playing a guy with Aspbergers impersonating Derby Crash from The Germs. All sorts of left fields stuff about going FUCK YOU to floor toms, to going bowling with Jews and not getting blow jobs because of his massively hairy balls.

BK: Yeah. Toronto is up in this. Me and this band have a history. I went to some of their shows in Halifax and Toronto. Nothing breathtaking musically but always solid fun and different in their own way. I bought into that for sure, the no nonsense music approach... Often monotonous, but there usually are some surprises around the corner.

Bob: When the song eventually come on, the singer sound s a bit like Wesley Willis crossed with Snoop Dogg, but white as the driven snow. Just as well as the guitars are playing some furious double time rhythm action. Damn this first track is really lo-fi and dirty, almost to the point of breaking down completely.
The second song is furious I can barely gear my brain up to match it. And just to fuck with my head, it's got FUCKING FLOOR TOMS! At least the third song has a much better riff/chord structure.

BK: Music to cause trouble to is what this is. This seven inch is some of the gnarliest Brutal Knights I've ever heard sound-wise, and some earth's most shattering lyrics ever committed to sped up shit 'n' roll. 'Did not go to school so cannot get a job. Do not shave balls, less appealing for blowjob. Made wrong bet on Super Bowl. Owe money to the mob.'  Fuck writing about this release. My Life, My Fault rules ass.

Bob: Meanwhile on Side B, there is only one song.... and it sounds like Devo! It's very minimal, no actual riffs or chord action, just a blaze of wiry, collapsing notes. Man that was fast and hard. Hummingbird-core.
On Discogs

BK: I'ma judge this record by its cover; this is No Fun Central. A band name and title I cannot understand is always a giveaway. That be "screamo" eh? The album art is sad and serious, also pretty. That girl has them eyes. Shit's gonna sound heavy and crust-like, right? Emotional at the very least. OK. Quick glance, the lyrics are prob no laughing matter...

Bob: OK, this one looks as if it's going to be a little hard going. The insert has a harrowing tale of the sad eyed kid on the front of the sleeve. Apparently she was a Ukrainian street kid who ended up dying of AIDS, alone and in the cold aged just 13. Oh man, you almost don't want to put the record on as you know that it's going to make you feel really uncomfortable.

BK: I just opened this thing and checked the liner notes and lyrics. Indeed, this is serious and thoughtful as predicted, but man, this is super heavy all around. Yana is a 2006 release and the music is weighty and dramatic, much like the story and girl (Yana) they are honouring. Why don't band do this anymore? What the fuck, spoiled, selfish, smart-phone bands... Eat shit.  Bah the second movement in... No the bridge in that A side song is kinda corny but then it is back to the Remains Of the Day (listen) like melancholy.

Bob: The first song on side A, you cannot understand the (admittedly intense) lyrics from the vocalist. Overall the song is a heavy standard sludge/doom slugger, all portentous, snarling guitars. The riffs are a little boring though. The recording is also really "dry."

BK: I like the production actually.

Bob: The song is going for an atmospheric, epic feel, but there is not reverb on any of the instruments. It's going for a cave acoustic, but ends up feeling like it's been recorded in the toilet. I can just about pick up some clean vocal harmonies in the background.

BK: I think the faint second voice there is a nice touch. Makes it sadder sounding.

Bob: Song B is different and far better. It's going for a post-hardcore feel with dark folk undercurrents, that segues with a nice bridge section into a some good guitar lines and cellos. It actually sounds a bit like early Editors! The the vocals come in and they're a bit crappy. Then the music turns into a bit like Skálmöld, before ending up a bit like Muse. This song is confused, which is a shame because you don't want an "issue" song to be confused about what it wants to be.

BK: I love saying this (side B) is what an ugly and extreme sounding Circa Survive would be like. The cello (viola?) is still present but the part where it plays the same melody as the bass is very, very good. Nice touch. This song is very catchy. Aren't these guys from Norway and played Iceland one time, during some sort of left field weird ass tour? They had something good going. They were all short in stature like me. That's important to note.
I tried to find some lyrics online for you readers, and the liner notes/story, but couldn't.
On Discogs

Bob: Ahhh time for the Swedes! and all the lyrics are in Swedish. Birkir the polygot tries to translate a bit. It seems like they're a bunch of snotty, angry teens who specialise in Swedish teen nihilism. you know the score, fuck the police, and everything else. The people in power are fascists and the power structures that keep us down are perpetrated by the Royal Family" The bastards!!
OK this shit had better be good. Put it on Birkir!! And its.... Garage Punk! Which is OK as the Swedes seem to do that incredibly well. Just the right levels of twin speed screaming so that it doesn't descend into actual hardcore music.

BK: Swedish. This has got to rule, eh. It kinda does. This is dirty, energetic and proper Swedish hardcore punk. Funny juxtaposition really, what with Sweden being so clean and calm.  Cleanest of nations yelling dirty as butts musicians.

Bob: And there are LOADS OF DRUM FILLS and LOADS OF FLOOR TOMS! Man this track is really scuzzy.

BK: This is tight too. Swedes have a lot go time to practice, mind. Great lead solo in the first song but much too long. Stop soloing, you clown!

Bob:  By the second song, Birkir has completely lost his decorum and is now climbing over me like a poorly house trained puppy, one that screams "SMASH THE SYSTEM! YELP YELP!!" when it can.

BK: Second song is a straight up perfect eager. I hope he doesn't solo for too long again. He didn't! Sweet. Killer drum rolls. Shit makes me wanna jump though at the window with an aquarium in my arms. Concerts these days suck. I'm tearing up the pit on Bob's sofa!

Bob: It actually reminds me a bit of a bands like the New Bomb Turks or The Nerds. It does veer a little towards pub rock by the end of the first song, but that's OK as another audacious drum fill arrives to wake you up.

BK: More of the same on that B side opener. But not as awesome. Is there something wrong with me wanting a bit more variety on a punk 7" by song three? I hope the Skitkidz (Kúkabörn) hate me and shoot me in the face.

Bob: The last two songs seem to have that full on Mötorhead, wide legged stance feel to it. The interplay between the dampened rhythm guitar just hits it all home.

BK: The last song starts out heavy metal. Yeah! Got me thinking of good ol' Proudflesh (hail perfection)! And then the rage is on a gain, but via sped up rock 'n' roll, which pulls down the fury and aggression a bit. That's not my jam really, but this release packs a punch. I'm thinking Ramming Speed meets Mötorhead here.
On Discogs

Related story
PUT YOUR HAND INTO A BOX! with Halifax Collect and friends (Sept 25, 2013)

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