What's alright? What's good? The indefinite judgements of an email diver

YOUR FAVOURITE BANDS, WRAPPED IN PLASTIC:

TEMPLE OF BAAL, EAST OF THE WALL, CODE, SATANIC MALFUNCTIONS, KUOLEMANLAAKSO, THEIR / THEY'RE / THERE, EYE OF SOLITUDE & REPTILIAN DEATH!

I get literally dozens of emails everyday telling me I should check this out or tell people about that. These days everyone that has an instrument can record something with their "computer studio" and mic's and it's a release. It gets wheeled off and dumped into endless stream of email-blasts and most of it is meh and an alarming number of it is utter shit-mess.
I'm gonna skim real quick through the first page of emails staring into my eyeballs right about now. Let me see here... Give me a minute, oh yes. So here we go.

The band is Temple Of Baal. With a name like this I was in for a black metal, but got something way more aggressive. They are on Agonia records. A label I've come to like quite a bit and admire, even though I'm of the opinion that they release too many bands. They have a new album coming out called Verses of Fire and here's a song for you to get a taste of what's to come (listen). I like this. This doesn't suck. I like how this tracks is quite busy and totally involved and exhausting yet retains traces of an old timey feel. Maybe that transpires via the David Vincentesque meets Grave-like (Souless) vocals and chaotically snappy solos. Thumbs up right here. Up your rotten ass.

East Of The Wall. Listening to these guys I'm thinking this sounds like Tool meets Agents Of Men meets Iceland's Momentum, and a band my band shared a stage with in the UK. Yeah. I forgot the name. Anywho... This is worth checking out if you're not a genre-snob, nor afraid of music sounding musical - played by people that want to be good at their chosen instruments. Listen to "Arbiters Meet" here and look at them perform in studio and sit and stand in places.

When a hc/punk band has been a band for over two decades and someone tells me I should know them and I don't, I get suspicious. Satanic Malfunctions,"they must not be very good then?" I ask myself. That's arrogance right there. Turn's out they have a new album out. Their first in 22 years. That's a stupid amount of years and listening to this I wonder if new material is really called for. This album is called Them and it kicks ass and sounds like a riot. I'm not sure if it's good, yet. Make up your own eardick by streaming the whole thing here.

I was really interested and suprised by Kuolemanlaakso's effort last year.  It had a lot of intrigue and it sounded brave, Uljas Uusi Maailma (Svart) got me thinking. And that's good, mind! So, here's a new song (listen) from a forthcoming release, Musta aurinko nousee. I'm not impressed. It's got the moody, catchy Paradise Lost/Katatonia thing going but with slightly more unnerving chords and clearly more involved. But shit's kinda boring I'm afraid. Take it easy now! Don't hate on my off the bat. It's only one song. Their cover art is always delicious though.

I've liked Code in the past. They are not content with standing still and sticking out. There's a new album coming out called Augur Nox. Their label has unleashed two songs from it, the one I'm listening (here) to being the second song to emerge. As Code would have it, they are still exploring new vibes, losing fans and gaining new ones simultaneously. I think I like this song. It beckons me to listen again, yet I can't help thinking that it is a it banal in its prog-rock ways. I'm thinking Dream Theater as I write this and I don't know how I feel about myself anymore.

On to non-long-haired-people and brighter coloured clothes. This is my first time listening to Their / They're / There and the song that's spinning does not suck. I'm taken back to the era of bands like Sharks Keep Moving, American Football and more recently, Minus The Bear. This song could use stronger vocals to really grab the unsuspecting listeners. This is nifty though. Plenty of music in these boys. Wouldn't mind listening to the rest of this release.

Death metal from India? Don't mind if I do. Reptilian Death says hi. The militaristic death metal meets Rammstein opener "Prime Evil" sounds corny as hell but the transition into that steady beat is a nice touch. That and the outrageous "band photo" made me want to give them a minute on this blog (I digress, 'cause I'm not into this). The complete album stream kept fucking up on my computer so I didn't even get through the first two songs from The Dawn Of Consummation And Emergence but maybe you can. What I heard sounded like polished death metal channeling various extreme metal sub-genres in that Wacken Open Air festival kinda way. Listen to the whole thing here.

I always crack a smile when I tell someone a band is playing a style coined funeral doom. It's silly as fuck, but it fits. It often does. Makes sense when you hear it. And it applies to Eye Of Solitude to a certain extent, although seriously atmospheric death doom is more of an apt description. "Where The Decent Began" (listen) is absolutely monstrous, grim but gorgeous in its expanse. A calm - almost romantic - break surprises and then the song bursts into shockingly aggressive movement that made me feel like I unexpectedly fell down a hole, flailing my limbs in desperation. All of the sudden the song sounds modern death metal as hell. What a trip.

Balls! I'm not half way through that email-page and I'm exhausted. I have one more page of emails - such as the one described in this "column's" intro - to go, and it all piled up and turned a page while I wrote this crap you submitted yourself to. I cannot believe I even entertained sifting through all of this stuff. End transmission.
- Birkir Fjalar

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